


The Problem With Easter

by ChaoticNeutral



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: BAMF Jack Frost, Easter, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 22:58:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8466217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticNeutral/pseuds/ChaoticNeutral
Summary: So apparently Jack has a strong dislike for Easter, and it's not because of Bunny.
Well, not JUST because of Bunny.





	

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Because as cute as angst/child Jack is, I like Badass Jack more. So here’s Jack. Being badass.

 

* * *

 

Many have wondered, sometimes, what Jack’s favorite holiday was.

 

The answer would not be what anyone would expect.

 

It was a simple answer, all things considered. At least it was in statement if not in meaning, which was honestly quite complex for what should have been a simple question.

 

What was Jack’s favorite holiday?

 

Many would think Christmas, given its status as a winter holiday and in the prime of Jack's preferred season. Some would suspect Halloween due to it being the night for tricks and fun. Thanksgiving, at times, was considered as it is the holiday for family and togetherness (and increasingly commercialism as well over the years), and for someone like Jack, who has spent so many of his years alone, surely such a holiday would hold a special place in his heart?

 

But the truth? Well, the truth is far different than expected.

 

Not Easter.

 

Any of them BUT Easter.

 

Heck, any day that wasn’t Easter was practically a holiday to him.

 

And the reason for this? Not what one would think...

 

Now he would never admit it out loud, but Jack used to actually like Easter. It had honestly been his favorite time of the year once upon a time. There was just more to it than Christmas and it involved more interaction and games and just overall FUN than Christmas did. But with each year that passed, he was finding himself liking it much less—and no, it wasn’t because of Bunny. Well, not JUST because of Bunny, anyway.

 

It may come as a surprise to many, but contrary to popular belief—and most holiday specials—Christmas very rarely needed saving. Oh sure, maybe a couple of particularly stupid people would try to ruin Christmas—commonly by attempting to kidnap or otherwise disrupt it’s patron. But everyone quickly learned that Nicholas St. North was most certainly nothing like the jolly old fat man of legend and was more than capable of protecting Christmas—and himself—just fine on his own, much to their own detriment. Of course, the twin sabers and army of very adept yetis and rabid elves probably helped with that. Needless to say, Jack never worried about Christmas.

 

Easter, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to go a year without someone trying something particularly evil. Or stupid. Or both. Usually both.

 

Much like with Santa Claus, the image of a fluffy bunny giving away candy and eggs as the patron of a holiday didn’t necessarily strike fear into people’s hearts. And much like North, Bunny was also fully capable of protecting himself if anyone DID attempt anything against his person. Just as no one considered the jolly old St. Nick to be a sword-wielding Cossack, no one expected the Easter Bunny to be over six feet tall and a master of martial arts.

 

Unlike Christmas, however, the message hasn’t gotten around yet that Easter was not to be trifled with either. Jack blamed the fact that North, at least, would make more of a production out of his holiday and allow himself to be seen whereas Bunny preferred to stay hidden and leave people guessing. Obviously, this would do very little in deterring the more unpleasant sort from attempting to ruin the holiday, but at least most others would think twice before trying anything. And while for the longest time Jack did have a bit of a feud with the old Cottontail that led him to not particularly care if anyone should be plotting against him (“It’d help keep the Kangaroo on his toes!”), the problem was that these less than benevolent forces never really did target Bunny.

 

No, they would usually target the ones Jack DID care about: the kids.

 

Christmas was all about Santa. He comes to the household of every good child and leaves gifts while they’re sleeping. Everyone knew that if you wanted to screw up Christmas, all you had to do was stop Santa from delivering the gifts. And as such, North was generally the focus of any mischief or acts of Yuletide terrorism.

 

But Easter? Easter is about the kids. Yeah, Bunny is the one who leaves the eggs everywhere, but he’s not just HANDING them to the children, oh no! The kids have to actually go out and FIND the blasted things wherever they may be. And honestly, it was rather fun—or at least, Jack used to think it was fun before he caught a Rougarou trying to ambush a group of particularly oblivious children for the twentieth time. And then there was the incident with Muma Padurii. And two of the Baba Yaga sisters—apparently the third rather liked him for some reason and normally took Easter off anyways. And he didn’t even want to think about that mess involving that herd of Qalupalik. Honestly, even if he hadn’t originally died by drowning, he would no doubt still be terrified of open water thanks to those things alone! He couldn’t very well freeze the ocean, after all, and the smug little bastards KNEW it, too! He had to settle for freezing waves—which in and of itself was therapeutic due to both its calming effect and the scare it’d give the jerks.

 

But the disturbing thing he had realized was that no matter who it was or what sort of evil they had planned, it would always, ALWAYS happen on Easter!

 

Honestly, Jack didn’t understand why they always chose Easter. He couldn’t even remember just when he first started to notice the unwanted attention the day was getting. But the one thing he did know was that Easter seemed to be the go-to holiday for trouble. If anyone was setting up anything nasty, no matter what it may be, Easter was when it would happen. Jack could practically set his calendar to it.

 

Maybe that was why most years he really did prefer Christmas over Easter—though he would never let anyone know or he’d never hear the end of it. It wasn’t that he liked Christmas more—he never actually celebrated it before to tell the truth, having been invisible and/or ignored by anyone he could have spent it with for three hundred plus years. Christmas was just another day as far as he was concerned, right up there in importance with Labor Day or Columbus Day. So no, he didn’t like it more.

 

He just hated it less.

 

Christmas was simple. Christmas was **easy**. All the kids had to do was go to bed early and they’d wake up to filled stockings and extra presents under the tree. But Easter involved the children actively going OUT—usually into parks or wooded areas where eggs could be better hidden but were by no means the only things lying in wait for innocent children to stumble across out there.

 

And while Jack certainly did not care much for the Guardian of Easter, he was hardly going to stand by and let the kids come to harm.

 

Which is why Jack found himself having to save Easter.

 

_"Come little children, I'll take thee away..." The witch gently sang to the children in her thrall as she began to lead them further into the woods and away from any form of safety._

 

_"NO YOU WON'T!"_

 

_Or at least she DID sing gently to them until a blast of cold to her throat as she was taking a breath ruptured her vocal chords and caused her to choke and grunt in pain, causing the now disillusioned children to run. Angered, the witch shrieked and spun on the one who interrupted her._

 

_Jack was already waiting._

 

Again.

 

_As Jack walked around giving a cursory glance over the field,_ _he felt his foot bump something. Glancing down, he caught sight of an errant Easter egg._

 

_And more importantly, the symbol ON said egg._

_"Nice try, Bagul."_

 

_His eyes narrowed and he brought his staff down on it, both freezing and shattering the small thing so only the green yolk and cracked pieces of egg remained._

 

_"One down."_

 

_Glancing back up, he noted the multitude of other eggs still visible around the field and gave an annoyed sigh._

 

_"Who knows how many more to go."_

 

And again.

 

_Children gathered in the small village below the mountainous region, oblivious to the sight above them of a strangely-dressed white-haired teen riding a very pissed off flying snake._

 

_"YIPPIE-KAI-YAY, MOTHER FUCKER!"_

 

_The snake, apparently unhappy with Jack's statement about its mother, proceeded to try to ram them both into said mountain._

 

_"Oh crap."_

 

**_BOOM!_ **

 

And again...

 

_Jack spun on Cupid, seething. "You are NEVER allowed to bet again!"_

 

_Cupid shrunk back, nervously. "H-hey! I had no way of knowing what he'd ask for!"_

 

_"You're the God of Love! What else WOULD he ask you for?!"_

 

_"I just felt so bad for the guy and thought he could do with some more love in his life."_

 

_"BY BUILDING A HAREM?!"_

 

And again...

 

_“I swear upon all that is holy if you mess this up—”_

 

_“Klaatu barada necktie!”_

_“YOU SON OF A—”_

 

And...again.

 

_Being a spirit of winter and all, Jack Frost generally did not like fire, but there were times he had to make an exception._

 

_"How about a little fire, Scarecrow?" Jack grinned._

 

_And there were times when he really enjoyed those exceptions. Like burning an effigy of a god leading a cult that involved sacrificing children._

 

_Besides, how could he say no to such perfect use of a good quote?_

 

And...well...you get the idea.

 

_The kelpie began to emerge from its lake._

 

_Then it saw a very vexed Jack Frost palming his staff and looking quite cross, and wisely decided to re-submerge and avoid his ire._

 

So it should probably go without saying that by the time 1968 rolled around, Jack was...kind of stressed.

 

_Jack stood in the middle of a clearing._

_A completely empty clearing._

_He glanced left._

_He glanced right._

_Everything appeared peaceful..._

_He twitched._

_“Screw it.”_

_Let’s see someone try to plot evil in the middle of a blizzard!_

 

Unfortunately, evil does come in many forms.

 

_...He took it all back. Being invisible was good. Being invisible was awesome, even!_

 

_Now if only he was invisible to THESE things, too._

 

_"Oh sure, the evil angels can see me!"_

 

_"Of course they could. That just figured, what with his luck._

 

_Jack slowly began to back away, forcing himself to remain facing the statue._

 

_Now how far could he get without blinking?_

 

...Some stranger than others.

 

_**“We.”** _

_**“We.”** _

_**“We are.”** _

_**“We are.”** _

__

_**“We are.”** _

__

_**“We are coming.”** _

__

_**“We are coming.”** _

_“NO, you FUCKING aren’t!”_

_**“Aww, come on, man!”** _

_“NO!”_

_**“Just one hit! Please?”** _

_“YOU ARE NOT HARVESTING CHILDREN TO GET HIGH!”_

_**“Buzz kill...”** _

_“Damn junkies.”_

 

Some really, REALLY strange...

 

_Jack frowned, looking up at the sky in confusion._

_“That’s weird...was the moon always that close?”_

_..._

 

_“HOLY SHIT IT HAS EYES!”_  

 

And some potentially more traumatizing. 

 

_"BAD EGG! BAD EGG! **BAD EGG!!!** "_

 

**_"SKREEEEEEE!!!!"_ **

 

And some just...sort of confusing.

 

_Jack frowned, looking around the darkened forest in confusion._

_“What’s that hissing sound?”_

_Noting something from the corner of his eye, he turned to face what appeared to be..._

_“Is that a walking shrub?”_

_**BOOM!**_

 

Jack sighed, covering his eyes in a mix of exhaustion and frustration. “Is it too much to ask for ONE Easter where nothing happens? Just ONE?”

 

Apparently it was, because the next Easter was none other than the showdown with Pitch.

 

“Hate Easter. Hate it SO much.”

 


End file.
